5 Things Homeschoolers Wish Non-Homeschoolers Knew

I began homeschooling my son in 2008. He was 5 (turning 6) that fall, and I had a 14-month-old daughter. To say I was overwhelmed would be an understatement. Thankfully, God placed some other homeschool moms in my circle of friends and they helped me immensely those first couple of years.

Through our homeschooling journey, I have encountered a variety of responses when I share that we homeschool. Some people are surprised, but curious. They ask polite questions and seem to genuinely want to know how homeschooling works. Others are surprised and clearly disapprove. The looks on their faces and their quizzing of me or my children make us feel as if we should defend our decision.

Here are 5 things homeschoolers wish non-homeschoolers knew:

1) We are imperfect…..and we know it.

When I first told our pediatrician that we were homeschooling, she began calling me “Super Mom.” When she entered the exam room, she would say, “There’s my super mom!” At first, I thought she was complimenting me, but over time, I realized it was sarcastic. It was more of a “here’s the mom that does it all…..stays home, homeschools, cooks, cleans, etc, etc, etc. The one who makes working moms look bad.” I immediately responded with, “I’m NO super mom” the first time she said it (and every time thereafter.) There has never been a day when I have felt like I have it all together. Sure, some days are easier than others, but there is *always* something that makes me question myself as a mom. Homeschooling only adds an extra layer of responsibility to that load. I have never met another homeschool mom who has it all together, either. The thing is, most homeschooling moms readily admit that. When they are with other homeschool moms, they feel “safe,” and can easily admit they struggle without the fear of the other mom telling them, “Well, maybe homeschooling is not for you.”

2) We don’t think we are better than you.

This is a big one that I have encountered. It seems that because I have chosen a different path for educating my children, people automatically seem to feel I think I am superior to them and their educational choices. I don’t feel that way. Homeschooling is best for my family, but I do not feel that I am better than someone who sends their kids to public or private school. We all have different choices to make that will be best for our families and it is not my place to put my convictions on someone else. For us, homeschooling is the best choice. For you, it may be a Christian private school, or a public school. That is a decision that is between you and your family and God.

Who am I to say what you should do with your family?

3) We constantly second-guess ourselves.

Homeschoolers are notorious for “finding something that works.” Here’s what that may look like: we may strictly use boxed curriculum, piece together a variety of subjects from various companies, lean solely on experiences/field trips/hands-on/life-schooling, or any combination of these. If we see that something is not working, we have the freedom to change it to better fit the needs of our child. Sometimes that means each child in a family uses different studies/curriculum if that is what they need. But with great freedom comes great responsibility. Because we have taken on the mantel of educating our children, we are the only ones to blame if our children do not have the skills necessary to move on to the next phase of their lives. This is a huge responsibility and something that keeps homeschool moms up late at night, combing curriculum companies and materials to find exactly what a particular child needs.

4) Our “tired” is emotional as well as physical.

Sure, homeschoolers can be physically tired from the daily tasks of raising kids. I know moms who work outside their homes are tired as well. But, there is something about homeschooling that makes a person tired in every way: physically, mentally, and emotionally. When a mom is in the throes of pregnancy, tending to infants, chasing toddlers, entertaining preschoolers, discipling school-age children, taxiing pre-teens and teenagers to various activities, or any combination of these, she is exhausted. Add being solely responsible for her children's education, and she can be overwhelmed. There are no breaks. We are with our children (yes, by choice) 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Sometimes, we need to take a walk outside....alone, to gather our thoughts. We can be very overstimulated, and are completely "touched out" and "talked out" by the end of the day. Discipline issues can pierce our hearts as we are dealing with our own children.

5) Homeschooling is a sanctifying experience.

I think this is the most difficult, but most wonderful aspect we wish non-homeschoolers knew. When we are with our kids 24/7, they know us. Day after day, they see our mistakes. Week after week, they realize we are sinful people. We don't have a "work persona" and a "home persona." This is the refining fire....seeing yourself and your flaws, acknowledging your nothingness without Christ, and practicing asking for forgiveness and forgiving one another.

This is the most important aspect of homeschooling to me. Jesus is not going to leave me the way He found me. He's going to use my circumstances to cause me to grow spiritually. The day-to-day, the mundane, all have a higher purpose. As we "do life together" in this homeschooling home, we are sharpening one another. We are growing, and learning, and enjoying each other's company. And, perhaps, that is more important than any lesson found in a textbook.

Proverbs 27: 17 (NIV) "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."