In the Passenger Seat

Several years ago, I told my husband that the next five years would be really hard. I would be homeschooling three kids, and because they are four grades apart, few (if any) classes could be combined and I was afraid that I would be unable to give them the education they needed.

I have never wanted to short-change my kids and felt the weight of this responsibility immensely. During this time, each of my parents were battling health issues of their own and both of them passed away (at different times). Massive stress in my life was just a constant.

Somehow, we made it to the last year of that five-year period last fall. It was my son’s senior year, and it surely passed quickly. As graduation drew closer, I reflected on our journey. We were asked to say a few words at graduation, and, through tears, this is what I said:

“We’re going to take it one year at a time.”

“We will only homeschool when he’s little. Then, he can go to high school.”

These are just a few of the things we told ourselves and others so that this daunting task of homeschooling wouldn’t seem quite so….daunting.

As our first-born, you were the guinea pig.

I’m sorry.

It took a while for me to think outside of the box and change things if they weren’t working. But we got there!

And day after day, week after week, year after year, we inched closer and closer to today. I know it doesn’t seem like it to you, but it went by entirely too fast.

While we will remember some hard times, some tears, and some frustrations, I want to dwell on all we gained.

We redeemed 16,380 hours (give or take) that you would have spent away from us. We replaced them with hours of read-alouds, fun field trips, and so much extra time that allowed you to pursue your interests, whether they were dinosaurs, drawing, or animating.

And for all of this, I am thankful…thankful that God allowed us this life…this wonderful, difficult, full of fun (and sometimes tears), adventurous, outside-the-box, “weird” lifestyle. It has been my greatest joy to learn alongside you. You have taught me more than you realize.

I hope that you are walking away with a love of God, a love of family and others, a strong work ethic, and a love of learning. You will go far in life with these.

Remember, the same life that hands you heartache and grief, Geometry and “Walden,” also hands you love and joy, Star Wars, music, and art.

Trust in God and He will guide you….always….in all ways.

We love you and are so very proud of you!”

Bless him, he was the guinea pig. When we began homeschooling, I used a boxed curriculum and wanted to CHECK OFF EVERY BOX. It took a couple of years before I truly started to embrace the homeschool life and all the freedom it brings. I know that I used *at least* four different curriculum companies. Math was a nightmare at times, and I believe (if I am counting correctly) we used at least seven different curriculum companies just for math alone. I tried a variety of methods and finally found what worked best for him.

Do you know what happened? We made it through those hard five years! Not only did we both learn and grow, but he thrived! He scored well on his ACT and has two scholarships.

He just turned in his first college assignment and completed his first week at college.

I am so proud of him.

Last week, we went to his school to get his parking permit and buy his books. He drove. It was a bit surreal to me to see the beginnings of his new chapter in life.

How did we get here so quickly?

How did he go from that baby in the back seat who could not ride alone to the grown man driving me around town? (I literally rode in the back seat for the first year of his life until he was able to ride in a front-facing carseat)

Wasn’t it just yesterday that he required me to nearly dislocate my shoulder so I could hold his hand while he rode in the backseat of the car so he wasn’t scared?

And, here he is…driving me around town.

I am so proud of him.

Didn’t I just make a FB post about how he was finally taller than me?

And didn’t I recently post that his hands are now bigger than mine?

It can’t be….it just doesn’t seem possible that he is grown.

I am so proud of him.

The fact that he is living at home and commuting gives me a few more years. We are “easing” into this life. Thankfully, he is patient with me as I ask him for the fifteenth time if he has any assignments due today.

It’s not easy for this Mom who has planned every single subject, every single day for the last thirteen years to just release him to handle it himself.

But, I must.

And maybe it’s the pride and joy I feel as I see him become more independent that eases my worries.

I am so very proud of him.

It is said so often but it is so true: the days are long and the years are short.

Homeschool mom, cherish this.

As I slide over into the passenger seat and let him take the wheel, I am going to enjoy this ride. He has been a joy since day one, and I have no doubt that God has His hand on him.